Not listening to people and being willing to be influenced by what they have to say is a sure way to invite resistance.  You probably knew that already!

I am a fan of listening, but you’ve got to know what you are getting into. A good friend attended a workshop that showed executives how to use the ideas that appear in a very popular book on change management.  The executives were taught how to encourage conversation among people who need to support a change. The instructors told them that people need to “ get their feelings out.” The thinking, I assume, is that if people get a chance to gripe and whine for a while, they will get over their foolish resistance, and things can move along. Or, a less cynical reaction might be that “getting feelings out” serves as a catharsis.

The Challenge:  A bank was implementing a new software system in the US and other locations around the world. The project leader was concerned that fiefdoms would wreck the project before it ever got off the ground. 

The more I focus on influence, the more convinced I am that we are the message. As Walt Whitman wrote, “We convince by our presence.” If we want to shift people’s energy along The Energy Bar™, our presence matters more than the techniques we use.

There are many techniques out there for getting people engaged in conversations. Techniques that show you how to involve people at every step in the life of a big project. And many of those tools are quite good.

An organization oversaw big construction projects and that demanded that project leaders coordinate the work of many other contractors and business partners. The problem was, projects were running way over time and budget, pretty consistently. It was clear they had to do something new, something different.

They came up with what I call a “What if?” scenario. They invited the decision-makers from the different organizations that needed to work closely on the projects. These were the people who could make decisions for their own organizations - and that’s important because if the team members can’t make decisions, the meeting goes nowhere.

In her post, The Positivity Trap: How Upbeat Coaches Can Kill Client Results, Krista Scott-Dixon writes that leaning too far into positive feedback can get in the way of a client’s work. Since I agree with her premise, I thought I’d pass along her post.

http://www.precisionnutrition.com/positivity-trap