This year, I formed The Energy Bar Group, which brings like-minded professionals together to bounce ideas off each other, ask questions, and learn more in depth about the methods I use with my clients. I received a fascinating question from one of the members of the group.   

I struggle with the underlying assumption that we must influence others in order to get things done, make “change”, and in general, interact in the world. If we are each busy influencing each other, then at what point are we open to being influenced?  And where are we going to “be” if at the end we all somehow end up effectively influencing each other?

An organization was facing a huge threat. They needed to make massive changes in order to survive. (Sound familiar?) I was asked to facilitate the planning process. Prior to that first meeting, the head person, I’ll call her Betty, assured me that she knew the answers to the first two questions. And, by the end of the meeting, she was able to say yes to the third one.

In Betty’s organization, people saw the challenge and wanted to address it now! But, it’s amazing how often leaders don’t know where the energy is.  And, the higher up you are, the worse it gets. No one wants to tell you the truth.

I was working with a group of very bright technical experts on their strategies for building support for change. Lots of big words and lots of concepts being thrown around. We were all getting confused - and I do this for a living.

I stopped them, and said,” Look, it’s just energy. It’s either moving this way (toward support) or that way (into resistance).”